Mamas on the Mic
Brandy Ferner is the amazing host of the Adult Conversations podcast, and also has a novel that just released by the same name! I first stumbled upon her dark humor and quick wit listening to an episode about screen time that totally shook up my view of technology and parenting. Adult Conversations isn’t about parenting advice and telling you how you should do it, but rather trying to break the “perfect parenting” image and show the real #momlife! She’s not afraid to ask the hard questions and say what the rest of us are thinking…
Here’s the Rest of the Interview:
Tell us how you got started podcasting.
The idea crossed my mind about 3 years ago. I recorded an intro and part of an episode, but was so horrified by hearing my own voice that I tabled the entire thing. Now, a few years later, I care more about the message and helping other moms who are struggling with the relentlessness of modern motherhood than I do about my dumb voice.
What is one of your favorite episodes and why?
Episode 14, “Moms, Dads, & the Myth of Equal Partnership with Darcy,” is one of my FAVORITE episodes. Darcy (the guest) articulated and researched so much of what I had felt and seen, but couldn’t put words and data to. She made everything click for me, and the listeners. Some people have messaged me and said it saved their marriage! I don’t know if the dads are as happy about it, but ultimately treating your spouse like an equal only benefits both of you. And if you have a problem with that, then you NEED this episode. Episode 1, “Behind the Curtain of Motherhood with Jessica – Part 1” – this was my first episode and even though I’ve grown as a podcaster since then, the realness of it and the unpacking of modern motherhood (and laughing) we do in it is why I started this podcast in the first place – and wrote my upcoming novel, Adult Conversation: A Novel. Some of the basic ideas that every podcast episode of mine cover are introduced in this episode. These two episodes are my most downloaded, so it’s interesting that two of my favorites are also two listener favorites as well.
Another favorite is Behind the Curtain.
Tell us about your family.
I’ve got a husband who is way more private than I am (I don’t think I’m private at all), and two kids – ages 12 and 6. Having that 6.5 year age gap was the only way I could have another child, but I underestimated how it would feel to get much of my life back (with my oldest in full day school) and then giving it all up again with having a new baby. But the age gap has been helpful for things like avoiding sibling jealousy and also getting quality time with each child.
What is your best parenting advice?
“All roads suck balls.” Seriously. Parenting is full of so many moments and decisions that suck no matter what you choose, so you just choose the way that sucks the least.
If you could encourage one mom today, what would you tell her?
I would tell her that motherhood is broken, not her. We live in a society and at a time where there are so few safety nets and systemic support systems for mothers, that we’re all left feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and also like we’re doing it wrong. We’re not broken. We are trying to compensate for a broken system that has us mothering alone in our homes, disconnected from a village, and that doesn’t value our care-taking work (or our bodies). I’m part of a growing revolution of truth-telling mothers who are helping to unveil the injustices of modern motherhood, and I hope that more moms waking up and demanding better will help shift things so that we can find more joy and less resentment and frustration.
You can find Brandy and Adult Conversations anywhere you listen to podcasts